areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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