She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The uberlube is also flammable
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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