My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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