Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
