carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
are you so shy because you have an std?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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