What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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