Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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