god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am one with the molecules
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize