He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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