i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
