Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
