I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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