im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
