I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
