on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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