:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
