So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need water and some morals
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize