Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
