summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
