Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
