but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You need a sexual gate keeper
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize