Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My liver just had a heart attack.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
