You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize