3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
