...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
