Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
