You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
