He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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