idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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