I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
