im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
