she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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