I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
