well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
