Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
