woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
