i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
