I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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