yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize