Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
