Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
