going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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