from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize