get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
