I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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