so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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