No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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