guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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