Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
