Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
