Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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