Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
