so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize