I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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