im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
