I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
