Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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