so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
