what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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